The Whole Secret to Finding and Living Your Purpose
There is so much talk about finding your purpose. The general idea is that you will feel truly fulfilled when you find your purpose. Unfortunately, finding your purpose is often obscured by a general misunderstanding of what purpose is.
Without an accurate understanding of what purpose is you can go on a wild goose chase – trying thing after thing after thing trying to find what it is you are “supposed” to do. Let’s get clear on something – Purpose is a package that consists of two parts:
1. what
2. how
When we talk about purpose it is very common to mistake the what and the how. The what of purpose, the meat of purpose, is the same for every single human being on this planet. Your purpose, my purpose, your neighbor’s purpose, everyone’s what, is to love. That’s it. Period.
Now that you know what your purpose is, the juicy question is:
How can I love in the least obstructed, most beautiful, fulfilling way possible?
What is so wonderful about getting clear about the difference between the what and the how is that you can do the what RIGHT NOW! You don’t have to wait to discover the ultimate how. You can fulfill your purpose by being love more and more and more each day. Just love.
What is so interesting, and beautiful, about this is that simply by doing the what the how begins to reveal itself. All you have to do is pay attention to flow.
Think of flow as a great big “yes” from the cosmos.
When you love, you will begin to experience more flow. Flow makes things magical. You’ll notice things like:
* weird synchronicities
* things getting easy
* being more creative
* increases in your energy
* having answers just pop right into your head
What you want to do is to begin to pay attention to the ways you are loving when these things happen. For example – I notice that when I give away my work to someone, like a person who really, really needs a session but simply cannot afford it and is in really bad shape, just getting their butt kicked by life – well, sometimes it is put in my heart to help someone and not charge them so I honor that. The person then feels really grateful and will start to go into an indebted mentality. And what I say to them is: “Don’t worry about. By you receiving the session I get to get some new clients so I actually feel really grateful to you for letting me do this because I am about to get styled-out by the Cosmos.” Then, inevitably, I will get at least 1 new client and more often it’s a 3:1 ratio. This is flow.
Now there are things that I do, that I “give away”, where I do not then get styled-out by the Cosmos – I just feel drained or unappreciated or silly. This is not-flow.
Flow is like a trail of bread crumbs you simply follow and it will lead you to how you should be fulfilling your what. (Again, your what is your purpose to love.) Following flow is also really beautiful because it filters things for us. What I mean is that most of us feel simply overwhelmed by all the things we could be doingand we get confused by this: “Should I pursue a degree in ________ or should I just start a non-profit or should I make art or should I climb the ladder at work or should I write a book?” You get the idea.
By following flow, the way we should be loving that is most fulfilling to us will reveal itself so there is nothing to worry about or figure out. It’s really incredible. And quite the relief.
Our deepest talents and gifts and fulfillment all come to light, they all surface, by loving and then following the flow. What I find so interesting is that this dynamic – this dance between what, flow, and how – is so perfect and so brilliant. You see, when you love and you follow flow you step onto a path that grows you into the person you were born to be.
For each step you take in the direction that flow leads your mind is expanded a bit and your capacity to imagine and desire more and more wonderful things is grown. Too, your confidence will increase and your fearfulness will lose its grip on you. This means you will begin to love more and more boldly. You will become less and less obstructed by limitation – yours and others’.
All the processing in the world cannot touch the transformative power of living love, following flow, and discovering the how that is revealed in this approach. I would also like to say that personal fulfillment does not and cannot ultimately happen in isolation. We are connected and, as such, the things we do are only truly and deeply rewarding when they reflect the truth of connection. In other words, it ain’t just about you. Because you is about your totality, your wholeness. And your wholeness is realized only when you see, experience, and act as a member of a much larger whole. It is the difference in perspective equivalent to how a teenager sees things and how an adult sees things.
So this is pretty good news, isn’t it? You get to start living your purpose and feeling increasingly more fulfilled and you don’t have to even have the slightest idea of how you should be doing it.
In other words – you can be a waste disposal expert, a secretary, a CEO, a struggling artist, unemployed, or totally lost and you can still live your purpose. And you can find your how just by following the trail of breadcrumbs – you don’t have to know anything more than that and that path will lead you to the person you truly are meant to be.
Step Out of the Rush and Into Relaxed Living
Step Out of the Rush and Into Relaxed Living
A family went to its favorite park for a Saturday picnic lunch. While the three boys, William, Paul, and Michael, played together, running up and down the green rolling hills as fast as they could, Dad put the finishing touches on the meal while Mom put out the paper plates on a checkered picnic tablecloth.
Suddenly, they heard the youngest child, William, cry out, as if in pain. A second later, they were dashing in the direction of the distant sound, unable to see any of the boys because the hills obscured any direct line of sight. When they arrived, they found Michael, the eldest, standing over William, who was lying on the ground whimpering.
“What on earth have you done to your brother?” the mother demanded of Michael. “I’ve told you time and time again not to pick on him!”
“But, I didn’t,” Michael protested. “That’s not what happened!”
“Well, then,” asked the father, “Why is he lying here crying like this if you didn’t hurt him?”
Michael paused and looked over at his middle brother, Paul, hoping to find some kind of support. Finding none, he gathered himself and answered:
“We were all running up and down the hill, and while William was walking up, I was running down.” Michael looked over once more to Paul, but he could see Paul was actually enjoying the moment.
“And . . . ?” Mom and Dad asked at almost the same time, seeing that Michael was stalling for time.
“Well, I guess on the way down I ran over William . . . and that’s why he’s crying . . . but I didn’t mean to . . . honest!” said Michael.
“Then why did you trample over him?” asked the father in a tone that told Michael he wanted to hear the truth and nothing but the truth.
Michael paused to think over how to explain the incident and then, suddenly realizing exactly what had happened, spoke these words:
“I was just going too fast to stop,” he said, “and . . . well, William just got in the way. I’m sorry Dad. . . Mom . . . really, I am!”
We’ve all probably “run over” someone emotionally or hurt a friend, a loved one, or even a complete stranger while racing to get somewhere or do something “important.” And, like Michael, we regret it—most likely too late to do any good.
There may be no greater self-deception than the false notion that rushing through anything actually helps us in any way whatsoever. After all, if anxious thoughts and feelings had any power to deliver us to a place or time where peace awaits, don’t you think we’d have gotten there by now? Let there be no mistake here:
When it comes to being in a hurry, what difference does it make how fast you can get somewhere when all you find there is the next thing for you to rush through?
The following nine lessons contain special insights into the invisible pressure-filled states that cause human beings to run themselves ragged. The more clearly we can see that it’s impossible to reach a place of rest by rushing to get there, the sooner we’ll arrive at the true solutions that allow us to relax, slow down, and realize the relaxed pace of an inwardly liberated life. Study each of these lessons separately, but see them as telling one story whose happy ending goes something like this: You not only find the courage you need to step out of the rush, but you also awaken to a whole new order of yourself that gets everything done without you doing yourself in!
1. Anyone who rushes through life always finishes last! This is a truth unseen by the masses, but evident to those weary of going nowhere fast. You race as you do to escape the unhappiness you feel being where we are, running towards what you imagine will free you from that dissatisfaction. But such races are always lost before they begin because you can’t outrun yourself!
2. All forms of momentum are mindless, but never more so than when a mind—blinded by desire—runs after what it wants without any awareness of its action.
3. Patience is a great virtue whose cost is paid by becoming painfully conscious of what our impatience does to others.
4. The rush to judgment is a race that nobody wins!
5. Allowing the rushed state of another person to push you into an anxious state of mind is like letting the horse you’re about to ride convince you to wear the saddle!
6. You are well on our way to reclaiming your original fearless Self when you find your source of peace and contentment in just being alive.
7. Rushing through life lends the one who habitually hurries the feeling of being “important,” but loans such as these come at the high cost of always having to justify one’s unkindness—like when we have to convince ourselves that our impatience with others is a necessary evil along the way to that “greater good” towards which we think we run.
8. The main reason it’s wise to listen to one’s own heart—whenever we can step out of the rush and remember to do so—is because there’s much more to be learned from the parts of us that don’t “speak” in words . . .than those that do.
9. The most important thing to remember whenever you find yourself in a mad rush is that what you are really trying to get to is a quiet mind . . . a peaceable state of self reached only by realizing there is no place more empowering for you to be than in the present moment.
A family went to its favorite park for a Saturday picnic lunch. While the three boys, William, Paul, and Michael, played together, running up and down the green rolling hills as fast as they could, Dad put the finishing touches on the meal while Mom put out the paper plates on a checkered picnic tablecloth.
Suddenly, they heard the youngest child, William, cry out, as if in pain. A second later, they were dashing in the direction of the distant sound, unable to see any of the boys because the hills obscured any direct line of sight. When they arrived, they found Michael, the eldest, standing over William, who was lying on the ground whimpering.
“What on earth have you done to your brother?” the mother demanded of Michael. “I’ve told you time and time again not to pick on him!”
“But, I didn’t,” Michael protested. “That’s not what happened!”
“Well, then,” asked the father, “Why is he lying here crying like this if you didn’t hurt him?”
Michael paused and looked over at his middle brother, Paul, hoping to find some kind of support. Finding none, he gathered himself and answered:
“We were all running up and down the hill, and while William was walking up, I was running down.” Michael looked over once more to Paul, but he could see Paul was actually enjoying the moment.
“And . . . ?” Mom and Dad asked at almost the same time, seeing that Michael was stalling for time.
“Well, I guess on the way down I ran over William . . . and that’s why he’s crying . . . but I didn’t mean to . . . honest!” said Michael.
“Then why did you trample over him?” asked the father in a tone that told Michael he wanted to hear the truth and nothing but the truth.
Michael paused to think over how to explain the incident and then, suddenly realizing exactly what had happened, spoke these words:
“I was just going too fast to stop,” he said, “and . . . well, William just got in the way. I’m sorry Dad. . . Mom . . . really, I am!”
We’ve all probably “run over” someone emotionally or hurt a friend, a loved one, or even a complete stranger while racing to get somewhere or do something “important.” And, like Michael, we regret it—most likely too late to do any good.
There may be no greater self-deception than the false notion that rushing through anything actually helps us in any way whatsoever. After all, if anxious thoughts and feelings had any power to deliver us to a place or time where peace awaits, don’t you think we’d have gotten there by now? Let there be no mistake here:
When it comes to being in a hurry, what difference does it make how fast you can get somewhere when all you find there is the next thing for you to rush through?
The following nine lessons contain special insights into the invisible pressure-filled states that cause human beings to run themselves ragged. The more clearly we can see that it’s impossible to reach a place of rest by rushing to get there, the sooner we’ll arrive at the true solutions that allow us to relax, slow down, and realize the relaxed pace of an inwardly liberated life. Study each of these lessons separately, but see them as telling one story whose happy ending goes something like this: You not only find the courage you need to step out of the rush, but you also awaken to a whole new order of yourself that gets everything done without you doing yourself in!
1. Anyone who rushes through life always finishes last! This is a truth unseen by the masses, but evident to those weary of going nowhere fast. You race as you do to escape the unhappiness you feel being where we are, running towards what you imagine will free you from that dissatisfaction. But such races are always lost before they begin because you can’t outrun yourself!
2. All forms of momentum are mindless, but never more so than when a mind—blinded by desire—runs after what it wants without any awareness of its action.
3. Patience is a great virtue whose cost is paid by becoming painfully conscious of what our impatience does to others.
4. The rush to judgment is a race that nobody wins!
5. Allowing the rushed state of another person to push you into an anxious state of mind is like letting the horse you’re about to ride convince you to wear the saddle!
6. You are well on our way to reclaiming your original fearless Self when you find your source of peace and contentment in just being alive.
7. Rushing through life lends the one who habitually hurries the feeling of being “important,” but loans such as these come at the high cost of always having to justify one’s unkindness—like when we have to convince ourselves that our impatience with others is a necessary evil along the way to that “greater good” towards which we think we run.
8. The main reason it’s wise to listen to one’s own heart—whenever we can step out of the rush and remember to do so—is because there’s much more to be learned from the parts of us that don’t “speak” in words . . .than those that do.
9. The most important thing to remember whenever you find yourself in a mad rush is that what you are really trying to get to is a quiet mind . . . a peaceable state of self reached only by realizing there is no place more empowering for you to be than in the present moment.
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